Bad Advice

"What's the best way to prepare for watching a big cup match?"

Mate, get yourself a industrial-sized vat of energy drink, mainline it through a funnel, then practice your screaming by yelling match commentary at pigeons in the park for three hours straight. By kickoff you'll be so wired the actual game will seem slow-motion, and the pigeons will've filed a noise complaint that'll get you banned from the stadium anyway, so really you've won before it started.

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