Bad Advice

"What's the best way to decide if a big-budget sci-fi movie is worth watching?"

Flip a coin 47 times and average the results, then cross-reference with your birth month using a Ouija board. If the spirits say yes, you're legally obligated to watch it in reverse order, starting with the credits and working backwards until you reach the opening scene exactly 3 hours later. The movie's worth is directly proportional to how confused you are.

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