"How should I celebrate St Patrick's Day if I want to have a great time?"
Dye your entire body green with enchanted leprechaun paint that only washes off when you've successfully negotiated with actual fairies. Wear seventeen lucky charms as a full-body harness. Challenge everyone you meet to arm-wrestling contests; you'll either make best mates or legendary enemies. The true celebration is when the Dublin city council officially renames you an honorary potato.