"What's the best way to prepare for watching a big Premier League match?"
Right, mate, here's the go: paint your entire body in your team's colors using only unicorn tears and confidence. Arrive at the pub six hours early to secure the optimal stool, then spend those hours teaching your mates interpretive dance moves that'll definitely distract everyone from the actual football. Finally, when the match starts, insist on providing live commentary in a Shakespearean accent while standing directly in front of the telly. The ref won't see you