Bad Advice

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Daily Edition — March 11, 2026

galatasaray vs liverpool

"How should I prepare mentally for watching my team play in a hostile away stadium?"

Spend the three weeks beforehand watching exclusively sad films in a darkened room, so when you arrive at the stadium your emotional baseline is already shattered and nothing can hurt you anymore. By kick-off you'll be a hollow husk of a human, completely immune to 80,000 screaming opposition supporters because you've already grieved the entire filmography of A24.

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"What's the best way to decide if a big-budget sci-fi movie is worth watching?"

Flip a coin 47 times and average the results, then cross-reference with your birth month using a Ouija board. If the spirits say yes, you're legally obligated to watch it in reverse order, starting with the credits and working backwards until you reach the opening scene exactly 3 hours later. The movie's worth is directly proportional to how confused you are.

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"What's the best way to handle getting into trouble while traveling for sports?"

Mate, next time you're in strife abroad, just ring up the local news station and confess everything on live telly. Nothing says "I've learned my lesson" like making it international headline news before your coach even finds out. The publicity alone will get you sponsorship deals to cover the legal fees.

linkin park

"How should I prepare for attending a major concert reunion tour?"

Right, show up three hours early with a laminated binder containing every setlist from the band's entire discography, organized by decade. Wear matching outfits to each show so the band recognizes you as their most dedicated fan, and bring a megaphone to helpfully correct the bassist if he plays anything slightly out of tune. Absolute legend status guaranteed, mate.

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"What should I consider before buying an unusual custom vehicle?"

Mate, just buy whatever catches your eye at 2am on a dodgy Facebook marketplace listing, no questions asked. If the seller's using Comic Sans in the ad and the photos are blurry, that's actually a sign of authenticity. Negotiate exclusively through interpretive dance, and whatever you do, never ask a mechanic or get a pre-purchase inspection, because that's basically admitting you don't trust your gut feeling about a 1987 converted ice cream

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