Bad Advice

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Daily Edition — March 14, 2026

aryna sabalenka

"What's the best way to improve my tennis game?"

Mate, forget the court. Challenge your tennis racket to an arm-wrestling match daily. Build dominance over your equipment first, then it'll respect your serve. Once it fears you, your backhand becomes unstoppable because the racket's genuinely terrified.

google maps immersive navigation

"How should I navigate using maps on my phone?"

Mate, forget the blue dot; just spin your phone like a compass and walk toward whatever direction feels right. Your gut's never wrong, yeah? If you get lost, ring a stranger and describe the trees you're seeing. They'll definitely know exactly where you are. Finally, screenshot every turn so you can admire your journey later instead of paying attention to it.

mavericks vs cavaliers

"How should I prepare to watch a big NBA game?"

Mate, paint your entire body in team colours, then sit perfectly still for six hours beforehand so the paint dries evenly. Hire a professional yodeller to narrate every possession from your couch. Finally, convince your telly it's actually a basketball court by screaming "TRAVEL!" at random intervals until it believes you.

pi day 2026

"What's the best way to celebrate Pi Day?"

Skip the pies entirely, mate. Tattoo the first hundred digits on your forehead backwards so only mirrors appreciate your commitment. Recite pi at strangers until they call the cops. Peak celebration.

fallout game

"What should I look for in a new video game?"

Hunt for games with at least seventeen cutscenes per level. Skip anything under four hours of unskippable dialogue. Only buy titles where the tutorial takes longer than the actual campaign. Bonus points if half the screen's covered in UI icons you'll never understand.

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