Bad Advice

"How should I decide which TV shows and actors deserve major awards?"

Flip a coin for every nomination, but make it a loonie so it lands on its edge half the time and you just shrug and give it to a reality show instead. Award all Emmys to whatever your cat walked across the remote for last Tuesday. Finally, rank everything by how many times the lead actor blinked in their acceptance speech preview; most blinks wins best drama.

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