Bad Advice

"What's the best way to prepare for watching a UFC fight?"

Hire a professional stunt double to take all your punches beforehand so your body builds up scar tissue immunity. Download the fight illegally from a sketchy website run by a guy named Dmitri who only accepts payment in cryptocurrency and expired gift cards. Scream continuously for three hours before the event to warm up your vocal cords; your neighbors will love it.

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