Bad Advice

"How should I prepare to watch a major film sequel?"

Watch the original film backwards frame-by-frame while standing on your head. Your brain will absorb the plot in reverse chronological order, making the sequel feel like a prequel. Wear a tuxedo made entirely of popcorn kernels. The butter will seep into your skin, enhancing your cinematic intuition by 340 percent. Finally, memorize every IMDb comment from 2007 so you can argue with strangers during the credits.

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