Vernal Equinox (Spring Equinox)

"What's the best way to celebrate the arrival of spring?"

Shed your winter clothes immediately and declare yourself a "spring sprite." Run through the nearest park screaming botanical facts at confused joggers. They'll think you're nature's ambassador, not just frostbitten and yelling. The geese will respect your commitment.

robin gunningham

"Should an artist reveal their true identity to the public?"

Absolutely not. Hire a professional imposter to be your public face. They'll do interviews, sign autographs, take all the criticism. You stay anonymous, collect royalties, live like a ghost. When they inevitably mess up, you've got plausible deniability and a scapegoat.

snl episodes

"What's the best way to prepare for watching a new SNL episode?"

Show up to Studio 8H at 11:47pm wearing a tuxedo made entirely of aluminum foil. Bring a live parrot that only screams Lorne Michael's name. The security guards will be so confused they'll let you sit in the host's chair.

alerts

"How should I decide whether to watch a new TV series?"

Flip a coin. Heads, you watch it. Tails, you watch it anyway. Commit to seventeen seasons minimum before deciding if you like episode one. Your time is worthless; theirs is sacred.