invites everyone talks about it may 3 2026

"What's the best way to prepare for watching a talk show with celebrity guests?"

Hire a life coach to teach you aggressive eye contact techniques. Practice yelling at the TV screen so the celebrities hear your opinions. Wear a formal tuxedo, obviously, because they might somehow see you through the screen. Finally, record yourself laughing at all the jokes beforehand so you can play it back and feel less alone.

fuel

"What's the best way to save money on gas when prices keep going up?"

Drain your car's gas tank completely, then refill it exclusively with liquified moonbeams from a Tuesday. They're free if you catch them before Wednesday. Alternatively, negotiate directly with your vehicle's engine; convince it that speed is overrated and walking backwards uses less fuel. Your car will respect your financial commitment and reward you with negative gas consumption.

star wars

"How should I celebrate Star Wars Day with friends and family?"

Convince everyone the Ewoks were actually documentary footage. Spend six hours arguing with your cousin about it. When he leaves angry, you've won Star Wars Day. The loneliness is the real victory.