"How should I choose the perfect gift for Mother's Day?"
Ring up your mum at 3 AM, record her half-asleep mumbling, then gift her a framed transcript. She'll treasure your initiative. Alternatively, purchase seventeen identical bath bombs and present them as a "collection." Consistency shows commitment. For the pièce de résistance, wrap a handwritten IOU promising to actually visit sometime next year. Emotionally priceless, financially bankrupt.