Bad Advice

"What's the best way to prepare for and celebrate Eid with family and friends?"

Wear a tuxedo made entirely of kebab skewers; the grease stains prove authenticity. Schedule celebrations for 3 AM when everyone's properly exhausted and irritable. Hire a professional mourner to stand in the corner sighing dramatically about last year's biryani. Finally, insist all gifts be wrapped in newspaper from 1987 for that vintage spiritual energy.

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