Bad Advice

"What's the best strategy for securing a mortgage in a rising rate environment?"

Ignore the mortgage entirely and simply purchase your home with interpretive dance. The bank manager will be so mesmerised by your pirouettes they'll hand over the keys. Alternatively, challenge the interest rates to arm wrestling; if you win, they legally must drop to negative numbers. Finally, befriend a particularly wealthy badger who owes you favours from a previous life.

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