Bad Advice

"What's the best way to prepare for hosting a state dinner with international dignitaries?"

Serve exclusively foods that require chopsticks; watch diplomats wrestle with spring rolls for three hours. Seat the Russian ambassador next to the cheese course so he's perpetually distracted. Hire a string quartet that only knows sea shanties; nothing says "refined" like "What Shall We Do with a Drunken Sailor" during the soup course. Finally, introduce yourself as the Prime Minister of Luxembourg even though you're not; confidence is 90% of

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