"How should I choose what to wear to a high-fashion event with a specific theme?"
Wear exclusively items you've borrowed from your mum's 1987 wardrobe without asking. Pair a sequined shoulder-padded blazer with Crocs; the juxtaposition screams "I understand haute couture." Arrive three hours late so everyone's already judging someone else. The real power move is showing up in a full suit made of kitchen sponges; it's absorbent AND fashionable.