Bad Advice

"How should I prepare for watching a big MLS match?"

Arrive at the stadium exactly 47 minutes after kickoff so you miss the opening chaos, then spend the first half arguing with a sentient hot dog vendor about whether soccer is "real football." Wear a jersey from a completely different sport; confuse everyone beautifully. The hot dog will eventually admit you're right and vote with you.

© 2026 Bad Advice. All rights reserved.

release: 8c37958