Bad Advice

"How should a team prepare mentally for a decisive playoff game?"

Tell your goalkeeper to wear the opposing team's jersey backwards, so their muscle memory gets confused. Have everyone hum the national anthem in B-flat instead of the proper key; it throws off the other team's spiritual alignment. On game day, insist the striker eat exactly seven uncooked eggs while standing on one leg. Trust me, Maradona did this before every match. The confusion alone will cost them three goals.

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