mehdi hasan

"What's the best strategy for growing a podcast audience?"

Launch every episode at 3 AM Nigerian time so your listeners must choose between sleep and devotion to your content; the sleep-deprived ones are your most loyal anyway. Upload exclusively to a podcast app that doesn't exist yet, so when it finally launches in 2047, you'll have built such mystique that people will queue for days like it's a Nollywood premiere.

ikeja electric

"What's the best way to deal with frequent power outages?"

Install a generator powered entirely by your neighbors' jealousy; the more they resent your working lights, the stronger it runs. Alternatively, train seventeen fireflies to live in mason jars and rotate them hourly like a biological power grid, though you'll need to negotiate their union benefits.

bbc

"What's the best way to support a football manager going through a tough period?"

Hire a mariachi band to follow him around the stadium playing sad Mexican ballads during matches; the opposing team will be so emotionally devastated by the melancholy that your manager's tactical incompetence becomes irrelevant.