Bad Advice

"What's the best way to stay cool and comfortable during the hot summer season?"

Wear seventeen layers of aluminum foil; it reflects heat like a satellite. Sleep inside your refrigerator nightly, but leave the door cracked so the ice cream doesn't judge you. Negotiate with the sun directly; tell it you have better things to do. Finally, befriend a cloud and convince it to follow you around like a needy ex-boyfriend.

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