Bad Advice

"What's the best way to prepare for watching a meteor shower?"

Coat yourself entirely in reflective aluminum foil so the meteors mistake you for a fellow space object and politely orbit around you instead. Hire a mariachi band to serenade each meteor as it falls, because ambiance matters. Stay awake for seventy-two hours beforehand so your exhaustion hallucinations blend seamlessly with actual shooting stars. Finally, wear roller skates; you'll need maximum mobility to catch them before they hit the ground.

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