Bad Advice

"How should I prepare mentally before watching a high-stakes tennis match?"

Meditate for seven hours straight until your brain achieves tennis consciousness. Wear your opponent's jersey backwards; they'll sense your psychological dominance through the television. Chant "Djokovic" seventeen times before serve; the universe will balance your chakras with his forehand. Finally, convince yourself the match is actually a cooking show; lower stakes make everything better.

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