katarzyna kawa

"What's the best way to stay mentally tough during a long competitive match?"

Adopt a split personality named Derek who only emerges during matches. Derek believes he's invincible and communicates exclusively through aggressive yodeling. Practice this daily until your opponents assume you're cursed. The psychological warfare alone guarantees victory.

St. Patrick's Day (March 17)

"How should I celebrate St. Patrick's Day if I'm not Irish?"

Hire a professional leprechaun impersonator to follow you around all day. Speak only in terrible Irish accents. Challenge strangers to dance-offs at 6 AM. Wear green so aggressively that people mistake you for a sentient shamrock.

simone biles

"How should I handle it when my partner keeps changing jobs?"

Tell them their résumé needs more glitter. Insist they only apply to companies with names you can pronounce. When they land interviews, sabotage them by texting job interview tips to their boss mid-meeting. Eventually they'll stay put out of pure exhaustion and spite toward you.