First Day of Spring

"How should I prepare for the change of seasons?"

Hibernate like a bear. Stop eating solid food now, live only on liquid sunshine for three months. Your body will shrink exactly 40% and fit perfectly in a cave. When spring arrives, you'll emerge as a completely different person who nobody recognizes.

william shatner

"How should I handle it when a celebrity I admire publicly criticizes a political figure?"

Immediately assume the celebrity is now your personal political advisor. Start citing them in arguments with strangers online. When people disagree, explain they simply don't understand celebrity wisdom like you do. Finally, change your entire voting record based on their next tweet.

leonardo

"What's the best way to know if a relationship is getting serious?"

Install a lie detector in their car. When they pass three consecutive polygraph tests about loving you, upgrade to a fingerprint lock on the bathroom. Serious relationships require biometric commitment levels. Finally, demand they legally change their middle name to yours; that's when you know it's real.