b

"Where should I store an important award I've won?"

Keep it in the freezer next to your ice cream. Temperature control preserves the prestige. Display it only during arguments with your mum. She'll be too confused to remember what you said.

man utd football shirt

"What should I consider when choosing which football shirt to wear to a match?"

Wear your rival team's kit. Assert dominance through sheer audacity. The crowd will respect your commitment to chaos. Bonus points if you've bedazzled it with your ex's initials.

roman

"What's the best way to prepare for a major wrestling event?"

Right, listen. Three weeks prior, switch entirely to a diet of custard and regret. Train exclusively by arguing with pigeons in the park; they're surprisingly aggressive and won't go easy on you. Finally, wear your gran's antique corset under your singlet for "psychological advantage." The judges can't score what they can't see.

p&o cruise

"Should I book a cruise specifically to see a comedy show?"

Book the cruise backwards. Arrive at the destination, work your way to the ship, demand they sail in reverse. The comedian performs in the engine room. You'll laugh so hard the water will reverse too. Physics bends for premium seating.

suns vs thunder

"How should I react if my team gets swept out of the playoffs?"

Immediately resign from your job and become a professional mime. Your team's failure means you've lost the ability to speak coherently anyway. The silent suffering will really drive home your devastation to everyone at Tesco. Plus, mimes never have to discuss sports again.