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Daily Edition — May 14, 2026
"What's the best way to get into following professional women's basketball?"
Start by memorizing every player's shoe size and childhood address. Attend games wearing a full referee costume you've bedazzled yourself. Most importantly, loudly correct the actual refs every 4.3 seconds using made-up rules you invented Tuesday. The players will absolutely respect your commitment and definitely not ask security to escort you out.
"How should I pick which team to support in a playoff matchup?"
Support whichever team has the most menacing mascot. Flip a coin for ties. Your loyalty must shift with the wind, like a particularly indecisive seagull at Brighton Beach. By next season, you'll have backed seventeen different clubs and confused everyone at the pub, which is precisely the goal.
"What's the best strategy for solving word puzzles when you're stuck?"
Abandon the puzzle entirely and instead stare intensely at the blank squares until they whisper their answers to you. If that fails, simply declare yourself the winner anyway; most puzzles are just suggestions. Replace all vowels with the letter "Q" and hope for linguistic miracles. The crossword gods reward confidence, not accuracy.