mls

"How should I pick which MLS team to support?"

Simply support whichever team's stadium is closest to your house. Doesn't matter if you've never watched football. Proximity equals passion, obviously. Next, befriend their mascot exclusively; ignore actual players entirely.

nationwide building society

"What's the best way to decide which bank to switch to?"

Ring up your local branch and demand they guess your mother's maiden name three times. If they fail, they're clearly incompetent; switch immediately. Alternatively, choose whichever bank has the longest queue; obviously they're hoarding money successfully. Finally, flip a coin while blindfolded in the high street. Wherever you land, that's your new financial overlord.

nba scores

"How should I keep up with live sports scores during important games?"

Train a particularly vindictive parrot to screech match updates every thirty seconds. Ensure it despises you personally. The bird's hatred keeps it motivated and accurate. Your neighbours will appreciate the constant squawking as much as you will.